A Blatant and Hostile Attack on Modern Culture

[I, I]

A Blatant and Hostile Attack on Modern Culture

For a country founded on such noble and lofty principles, by some of the greatest minds of their time, we have an alarming number of idiots active in today’s modern culture.  They are everywhere: on the airwaves, in the magazines, making national decisions, in front of me at checkout.  They wear many different guises and come in various forms, but they have one thing in common: they are apart of a cancerous tumor on America and their existence threatens the fabric of this nation.

POLITICS

The political scene is dominated by charlatans and clowns, masquerading as saviours of America.  How is it possible that all these people, most with vastly different agendas, can think that they are all good for us?  Hubris and arrogance is what I see in D.C., mentally bloated men and women who would bottle their own flatulence as a cure for all cultural ills.  Most of them haven’t worked in a lumber mill or in a mine, most of them have never delivered a pizza or flipped burgers, most of them have never gone hungry a day in their life, most of them have no bleeding idea what it means to be a working class American!  And yet, it’s these pampered pricks who make all important decisions.  These strutting cocks wield national influence like the effects of their policies have only menial effects!  The limited objectivity they may possess goes into flames at that expensive dinner with the “Who Honestly Gives a Fuck” lobbyist pushing his agenda in exchange for political support.  If you fear oligarchy as I do, look no further, for it is already upon us!

The electoral system is a joke.  The vast majority of the voting public have the attention spans and comprehension skills of a PCP riddled gnat... I wouldn’t trust them to lick my stamps properly.  They’d probably want health benefits, or sue me for a hostile work environment.  I tend to discriminate against the intellectually retarded.  The politicians play and pander to these dolts with flashy effects, cheap banter, and empty promises.  Not that they really have to considering the dead-lock of ideas and votes.  When you take an objective look at it, there really isn’t much of a difference between Republicans and Democrats.  Oh sure, their campaign promises differ greatly, but what they do when elected is virtually the same: expand the governmental sphere and choke the American people of life, liberty, and happiness.

But what makes a populace so malleable?  How did we go from keenly interested individuals willing to go to war for states rights to glaze-eyed sheep pleading for more shiny objects?  One merely needs to turn on the radio or television to find the answer.

Hold on.... I need to take my high blood pressure meds before continuing...

TELEVISION

Where to begin?  When the media provides such a plethora of mind-numbing, intellectually corrosive material to choose from, I feel like a fat kid in a candy store.  I suppose we’ll start with the “News”.  People are starving to death right now in Africa.  A genocide threatens the lives of thousands in South East Asia.  Russia is gingerly trying to rebuild the old Soviet Bloc.  Forgive me if I just don’t give a flying fuck about which goddamn celebrity looked the best at the Emmy’s or who won what trivial and meaningless award at the Oscar’s.  No wonder the rest of the world hates us: we’d rather learn about Bragelina then the AIDS crisis.

Reality TV is the one of the most prominent oxymorons of our age.  The fact that people actually consume HOURS of their lives watching B-rated actors make absolute fools of themselves is sickening.  What happened to Shakespeare?  Milton?  Plato?  No one cares about things that actually matter, they want to see a bunch of washed-up dancers critiquing the form of the next time waster on “So you think you can Dance?”.  Shows like Oprah and Ricky Lake project the private issues of some of the nations most dysfunctional individuals into the public sphere, teaching children at a young age that if you’re fucked up enough, you might be on TV!

The popular cartoons of the day are brain dissolvingly stupid.  Where stories of the Great War, ancestral immigration, and old heros fall short, an autistic sponge laughing like a psychopath takes the stage.  It used to be you could learn a moral lesson from cartoons or, Heaven forbid, actually encourage intellectual development.  Instead, children live in a false reality of perfect romance, happy endings, and expensive reels.  How many generations of girls are mentally fucked because of the unrealistic expectation the Disney Corporation places on love?  Life is not a musical, you probably won’t get the girl, and a snappy catch-phrase does not make you likable.

Speaking of Disney: how much does it cost to take out a hit on a Corporation?  The amount of culture rot generated by this entity is criminal.  They have oozed their foul and corrupting filth into all arenas of public life.  Their children actors are put into studios where highly advanced voice modification is applied to make them into pop icons.  Miley Sirus, Zac Efron, and The Jonas Brothers need to commit public suicide; that would be entertaining.  Little boys and girls put posters on their walls of idiots that will never amount to much more than a cocaine overdose and an embarrassing blow-job.  Yay commercialism.

Although Hollywood occasionally produces a movie that provokes thought and enlivens the imagination, most modern movies are shallow and simplistic.  Poor acting, worse writing, and awful screen chemistry characterize what most of the populace indulge in readily.  Cookie-cutter characters and plots taken straight from the “Big Book of Redundant Dribble” dance across the screen for a mind-aching hour and a half; only for $8.50!  Predictable and boring, I could spend my hard earned money on something worthwhile... such as a large stone to heave at the Academy.

Lastly, we will cover a genre of television that may just end art as we know it: SitComs.  Whoever pays writers to vomit this vitriol on to a page and make people act to it should be taken out and shot several times in the knee.  How people can find this entertaining I cannot comprehend... not the knee bit, which would evoke multiple sinister giggles, but the vitriol.  I’m sure that Shakespeare is doing the hustle in his grave.

Now we move to a topic that threatens to give me an aneurism.  Music... or at least, what passes for music these days.  God help us.

MUSIC

The putrid swill that dominates the radios and CD players of America brings shame to my heart and a tear of blood to my eye.  The purpose of music is to use rhythm and tone to convey emotion or an idea.  The way music is MANUFACTURED using pre-set beats, nonsensical and tiresome lyrics, and a time limit of about 2 minutes and 43 seconds defeats the purpose entirely.  While I loathe and despise the artists that pollute the world with their meaningless mumblings, the people that buy and listen to this audio sludge are worthy of the lowest layer of freezing Hell.

Note:  Anything with Pop influences automatically gets an F--.  There are some artists in each genre that use the style for art and creativity, but most of them are tottering morons.

*Hip Hop and Rap*

If ever a genre was devised to debased women, make crime cool, and pervert the english language, it was this horrid cock-wash.  Most songs contain mention of bitches and hoes, shooting that playa hata, or dealing crack to make cheese.  I personally think I could make a killing in the Hip Hop industry... I just need a mixer and the intellect of a sexually frustrated slug.  WHY DO ALL THESE SONGS SOUND THE SAME?!?!?!? 

The roots of this movement are based in the fantastic and beautiful Blues and Jazz movement.  This is music.  This is complex and enrapturing.  Anyone with a soul can relate to and love the Blues.  Music that expressed something, improved the skill and use of an instrument, and united the races under a common flag; it has sadly been taken, raped, bastardized, and put out for the world to mock.

The adherents of this particular genre are individually loathsome.  Shambling around with their pants halfway to their ankles, ball-caps turned around (contrary to popular belief, ball caps are intended to block your eyes from the sun, not do God knows what on the back of your head), and obsession with shiny objects and shoes; they are massive waste of oxygen... second only to politicians.  Communication with these fools is impossible as they speak a disjointed pidgin english;  I’d rather take up a riveting theological debate with a yak.  Their laughable appearance combined with their inability to communicate like sane individuals makes them slightly outcast in civil society, where we pride ourselves in treating women like human beings.

*Country*

Another genre loosely based in the Blues, Bluegrass and Old-School country will be spared a verbal beating on the grounds that it is meaningful music.  Modern Pop Country, however, will be taken out, beaten soundly about the ears, and told to sit in the corner and think about what it has done to good music.

While hip-hop makes being a thug look appealing, Country justifies and emboldens ignorant wretches with no education!  It makes being stupid cool!  Hick culture is proud of its’ lack of understanding, its’ limited world view, and its’ inability to adapt and expand with the rest of the world.  Can somebody please explain this to me?  It’s like having an inbred elitist club... KKK anyone?

*Classical, Metal, Punk, and Electronica*

I’m happy to be able to finally relax.  While certain Pop elements of these genres contain the same infuriating elements discussed above, most of this music retains the very core of what music is supposed to be.  Emotional, rhythmically complex, lyrically engaging, a clear message; the music within these genres is a much needed break from the monotony of the mainstream.

THE WILLFULLY IGNORANT

Before I bring this chapter to a close, I want to sum up everything I’ve ranted myself blue in the face about.  In all actually, what I’m pissed about is the willfully ignorant.  I want to make it perfectly clear that I have nothing against the mentally handicapped.  They did not choose to be in that position, they are the innocent victims of either parental carelessness or genetic cruelty.  

The Willfully Ignorant are different.  These are people gifted with normal faculties,  brain function, and intelligence who choose to disengaged from reality.  And yes, I mean OBJECTIVE REALITY... you know, what’s actually happening.  That subjective reality bull-roar is a load of horse cock.  There is ONE world which we all live in.  It is not open to interpretation, it does not bend or alter depending on your perception.  Either you acknowledge the Truth, or you are an idiot.  That is all

Where was I?  Ah yes, the willfully ignorant.  The rest of this book will focus on the facts of this reality, and how most people’s beliefs do not match up with the way the world actually works.  Most people do not bother seeking after the truth: they either take what their told simply for granted or settle for the most appealing idea.  Reality is neither simple nor appealing, but it’s here, and we might as well explore it.  

If you are a member of the Willfully Ignorant, reading on will offend and insult you.  I do not like you and I will not bow or stoop the Truth to fit your comfortable world view.  If you are a Student of the World, willing to let your mind expand, read on and be engaged, entertained, and educated.