On the Nature of Life (II, I)

If you are reading this right now, I can safely state the fact that you are alive.  To live, as any biology student knows, you must engage in the functions of life: respiration, regulation, reproduction, growth, excrete, nutrition, transport, and synthesis.  This is what it means to be a living creature.  But what does it mean to be alive in the sense that you FEEL alive?  This chapter will explore the various myths and Truths of Life, this beautiful thing we so often take for granted.

BEING

You exist right now because you are supposed to.  If you did not exist, you would not even miss it.  But right now you are sitting on a miniscule ball of dirt and water in a vast expanse of nothingness.  You will never do anything influential to the universe, nor change the processes that were going on billions of years before your species crawled forth from the muck and that will continue on after the last human heaves it's dying breath.  Yet, to you, this life is a very important thing.  The people you meet, the experiences you have, the way you live your life consumes your mind.  Just a tick on the eternal clock!  Has the question "Why?" ever crossed your mind?

It may come as a shock to you that the universe is trying to kill you.  On our own insignificant speck alone there are electric storms, geological upheaval that spews molten core, giant waves that consume whole land masses.  That's scary enough, but think about the massive asteroids that fly insanely fast through the black abyss, comets, supernovas, black holes.  We live in a very, very hostile reality.  In an instant, thousands of years of civilization could be wiped out, and the universe would hardly notice.  And yet... we are here.

Look at the complexity of your body!  Nerves, veins, pores, organs.... everything working perfectly, everything doing exactly what it's supposed to do to keep you alive.  One thing goes wrong in the womb, horrid disfiguration and death are possible!  But there are thousands of perfectly healthy, perfectly functioning babies born every day!  With the smallest mistakes ending in catastrophe, the statistics are staggering, and yet our species continues to reproduce with relatively small margin of error.

AIDS, cancer, the common cold, do you realize how close to death you are every day?  Your body responds to small pockets of "broken" cells before they become a tumor.  That scratch on your skin let a potentially lethal strain of Staph into your arteries, only to be stopped by a flawlessly functioning immune system.  Big things are trying to kill us!  Small things, our own friggen bodies, are trying to kill us!

And some people don't believe in God...

With the incredible amount of "stuff" out there that could go wrong, could end your life, could destroy the planet, the main point is IT DOESN'T.  Why?  With the organized, destructive chaos raging around us, WHY ARE WE HERE?  How does humanity continue existing year after improbable year?

Don't your little personal problems seem worthless and insignificant?

Like I said before, we ARE here.  That is all that matters.  We don't really know why, and frankly I don't know how, but the fact remains that we ARE here.  It is a fragile, precious, and meaningless existence, but it's all we have.  And it's astounding that we have that at all.

PURPOSE

Therefore, with what we discovered above, the purpose of life is fairly obvious.  The purpose of life is to live.  Doing all those things necessary to continue living, of course, but more then that, to experience unusual conditions we live in.  And to find purpose in that experience, we need only to turn to our emotions.

Anyone who has been in love can tell you it's the most exhilarating thing ever.  Better then sky-diving, better then heroin, better then a ham sandwich with just the right amount of tomato.  This gives us a clue.  Human interaction is one of the most gratifying experiences we can have, so why not indulge?  We are made to procreate.  Sex is a lot of fun.  Why not have a lot of sex?!  There are substances on this planet that break apart our perception and cause feelings of unrestrained ecstasy.  Why not be high all the time?

Hold up there, cowboy.  Let's not jump to conclusions.  It's true there are a great many things that enhance reality, but we cannot fall in so deep as to forget about the original purpose of life, which is to live.  Sex is great, but syphilis definitely does not increase the quality of life.  Drugs and alcohol are really fun too, but too much and you lose touch with this peculiar thing called reality and might even get yourself killed in an overdose.... thus undermining the purpose of life.  There are many reality enhancers, but lack of moderation in these things results in the purpose of your life being defeated. 

So far we have living and having fun as the purposes of life.  Sounds like a good time to me.  But we have another thing to consider in this equation.  We have a most marvelous gift.  It is seated right there between your ears (side-note: can somebody explain how we evolved those things?  And eyelids? We are such weird looking things...).  It is your brain, and it is the key to a full existence.

As thinking creatures, we have the incredible opportunity of not only being able to experience reality, but to understand it!  I know that when I put that funny little piece of paper in my mouth, in about an hour my perception of reality will alter significantly.  Not just that, I understand how it works!  I know, based on the tests done by other members of my species, that certain chemicals do certain things in my body to produce very specific effects in my perception.  Something happens and I know why!  I hope you can grasp the beauty in that.  And the rule about thinking is like that of any other experience: you should because you can.

So, when it comes to Purpose, I think we have a very nice balance.  It's like a system of checks and balances.  You think to make sure your indulgences don't that priority over living.  You indulge to expand your bank of experience, and you continue living to continue thinking and indulging.  

Purpose of Life:  To Live, To Enjoy, and To Think

I do so much enjoy being alive!

CONSUMPTION and KILLING

I think it is a bizarre piece of irony that our continued existence depends on the deaths of other living things.  Unless, of course, you are a fruitarian, in which case you are a moron.  As the comedian Ron White said, "I didn't climb to the top of the fucking food chain to eat carrots!".  But this illustrates another important fact about life:  life exists in delicate balance with death.  Wildlife Biologists know that wolves have a natural equilibrium in their hunting and breeding habits to make sure they don't over-hunt an area, thus avoiding being damned to starvation.

We have the same issue.  As omnivores, we have a system that functions and needs a large array of nutrition.  Fruits, vegetables, meats, grains... fruit excepting, our diet depends on death.  This is why I believe in giving thanks before a meal.  Not to God, he has his own time, but to the life form that unwillingly gave up its' existence so I could continue existing.  I remember that the burger I am enjoying once roamed pastures lazily grazing on grass.  It is very important for us to remember where our continued existence comes from... death.

Another instance of death leading to your continued existence lies in you killing for something other than food.  War happens for a reason.  Whether it's another human being with a machete or a hungry tiger trying to eat you, there is a chance in your lifetime that you will be forced to make a decision: another life-form or you.  Considering most of us make that decision every time we bite into a cheeseburger, it really shouldn't be that hard of a choice to make.

THE "AFTER" LIFE

So far, this chapter has contained little offensive material.  That's about to change, because the Truth I'm about to share with you may piss a few people off.  Are you ready?

There is no Heaven.  There is no Hell.  There is no Nirvana, no paradise, no Sheol... because there is no After-Life.  When you die, your body will cease to live and that is all.

Before you get your panties in a knot, let me explain why.  It is a basic principle of physics that energy cannot be created or destroyed, just changed.  If an after-life (heaven, hell, what have you) existed, a place where we went after living, this plane we live on now would quickly become devoid of... well... everything.  If all that energy were leaving this plane, this plane would cease to exist because new matter and energy CAN NOT be created to fill the gap.  Therefore, we naturally remain here.

Think about that for a second.  If energy and matter cannot be destroyed, and we are made up of energy and matter, that would mean that we can never be destroyed, just changed!!!  Sure, it's a given that we will stop living as the processes of life stop in our bodies, but it certainly doesn't mean that we stop existing.  We just change.

What happens after death, you ask?  Reincarnation?  We go on living in the environment around us?  I don't fucking know!  I'm alive right now, and that's all I really care about.  All you really need to know is you will never go to an after-life because you will never truly die.  

It's physics.

CONCLUSION 

So, the short of it is this:

*The Purpose of Life is to Live, to Enjoy, and to Think.

*Appreciate the fact that you exist, no matter how meaningless it is, because the sheer unlikelihood that you are here makes you, ironically, special.  Meaningless and Special... huh...

*Understand how and why you work, and always remember that your continued existence rests on the fact that you are willing to kill for it.

*Do not fear death, nor wish for it too soon, for life is precious and fun.  But when it comes, know that you will never truly die.

A Blatant and Hostile Attack on Modern Culture

[I, I]

A Blatant and Hostile Attack on Modern Culture

For a country founded on such noble and lofty principles, by some of the greatest minds of their time, we have an alarming number of idiots active in today’s modern culture.  They are everywhere: on the airwaves, in the magazines, making national decisions, in front of me at checkout.  They wear many different guises and come in various forms, but they have one thing in common: they are apart of a cancerous tumor on America and their existence threatens the fabric of this nation.

POLITICS

The political scene is dominated by charlatans and clowns, masquerading as saviours of America.  How is it possible that all these people, most with vastly different agendas, can think that they are all good for us?  Hubris and arrogance is what I see in D.C., mentally bloated men and women who would bottle their own flatulence as a cure for all cultural ills.  Most of them haven’t worked in a lumber mill or in a mine, most of them have never delivered a pizza or flipped burgers, most of them have never gone hungry a day in their life, most of them have no bleeding idea what it means to be a working class American!  And yet, it’s these pampered pricks who make all important decisions.  These strutting cocks wield national influence like the effects of their policies have only menial effects!  The limited objectivity they may possess goes into flames at that expensive dinner with the “Who Honestly Gives a Fuck” lobbyist pushing his agenda in exchange for political support.  If you fear oligarchy as I do, look no further, for it is already upon us!

The electoral system is a joke.  The vast majority of the voting public have the attention spans and comprehension skills of a PCP riddled gnat... I wouldn’t trust them to lick my stamps properly.  They’d probably want health benefits, or sue me for a hostile work environment.  I tend to discriminate against the intellectually retarded.  The politicians play and pander to these dolts with flashy effects, cheap banter, and empty promises.  Not that they really have to considering the dead-lock of ideas and votes.  When you take an objective look at it, there really isn’t much of a difference between Republicans and Democrats.  Oh sure, their campaign promises differ greatly, but what they do when elected is virtually the same: expand the governmental sphere and choke the American people of life, liberty, and happiness.

But what makes a populace so malleable?  How did we go from keenly interested individuals willing to go to war for states rights to glaze-eyed sheep pleading for more shiny objects?  One merely needs to turn on the radio or television to find the answer.

Hold on.... I need to take my high blood pressure meds before continuing...

TELEVISION

Where to begin?  When the media provides such a plethora of mind-numbing, intellectually corrosive material to choose from, I feel like a fat kid in a candy store.  I suppose we’ll start with the “News”.  People are starving to death right now in Africa.  A genocide threatens the lives of thousands in South East Asia.  Russia is gingerly trying to rebuild the old Soviet Bloc.  Forgive me if I just don’t give a flying fuck about which goddamn celebrity looked the best at the Emmy’s or who won what trivial and meaningless award at the Oscar’s.  No wonder the rest of the world hates us: we’d rather learn about Bragelina then the AIDS crisis.

Reality TV is the one of the most prominent oxymorons of our age.  The fact that people actually consume HOURS of their lives watching B-rated actors make absolute fools of themselves is sickening.  What happened to Shakespeare?  Milton?  Plato?  No one cares about things that actually matter, they want to see a bunch of washed-up dancers critiquing the form of the next time waster on “So you think you can Dance?”.  Shows like Oprah and Ricky Lake project the private issues of some of the nations most dysfunctional individuals into the public sphere, teaching children at a young age that if you’re fucked up enough, you might be on TV!

The popular cartoons of the day are brain dissolvingly stupid.  Where stories of the Great War, ancestral immigration, and old heros fall short, an autistic sponge laughing like a psychopath takes the stage.  It used to be you could learn a moral lesson from cartoons or, Heaven forbid, actually encourage intellectual development.  Instead, children live in a false reality of perfect romance, happy endings, and expensive reels.  How many generations of girls are mentally fucked because of the unrealistic expectation the Disney Corporation places on love?  Life is not a musical, you probably won’t get the girl, and a snappy catch-phrase does not make you likable.

Speaking of Disney: how much does it cost to take out a hit on a Corporation?  The amount of culture rot generated by this entity is criminal.  They have oozed their foul and corrupting filth into all arenas of public life.  Their children actors are put into studios where highly advanced voice modification is applied to make them into pop icons.  Miley Sirus, Zac Efron, and The Jonas Brothers need to commit public suicide; that would be entertaining.  Little boys and girls put posters on their walls of idiots that will never amount to much more than a cocaine overdose and an embarrassing blow-job.  Yay commercialism.

Although Hollywood occasionally produces a movie that provokes thought and enlivens the imagination, most modern movies are shallow and simplistic.  Poor acting, worse writing, and awful screen chemistry characterize what most of the populace indulge in readily.  Cookie-cutter characters and plots taken straight from the “Big Book of Redundant Dribble” dance across the screen for a mind-aching hour and a half; only for $8.50!  Predictable and boring, I could spend my hard earned money on something worthwhile... such as a large stone to heave at the Academy.

Lastly, we will cover a genre of television that may just end art as we know it: SitComs.  Whoever pays writers to vomit this vitriol on to a page and make people act to it should be taken out and shot several times in the knee.  How people can find this entertaining I cannot comprehend... not the knee bit, which would evoke multiple sinister giggles, but the vitriol.  I’m sure that Shakespeare is doing the hustle in his grave.

Now we move to a topic that threatens to give me an aneurism.  Music... or at least, what passes for music these days.  God help us.

MUSIC

The putrid swill that dominates the radios and CD players of America brings shame to my heart and a tear of blood to my eye.  The purpose of music is to use rhythm and tone to convey emotion or an idea.  The way music is MANUFACTURED using pre-set beats, nonsensical and tiresome lyrics, and a time limit of about 2 minutes and 43 seconds defeats the purpose entirely.  While I loathe and despise the artists that pollute the world with their meaningless mumblings, the people that buy and listen to this audio sludge are worthy of the lowest layer of freezing Hell.

Note:  Anything with Pop influences automatically gets an F--.  There are some artists in each genre that use the style for art and creativity, but most of them are tottering morons.

*Hip Hop and Rap*

If ever a genre was devised to debased women, make crime cool, and pervert the english language, it was this horrid cock-wash.  Most songs contain mention of bitches and hoes, shooting that playa hata, or dealing crack to make cheese.  I personally think I could make a killing in the Hip Hop industry... I just need a mixer and the intellect of a sexually frustrated slug.  WHY DO ALL THESE SONGS SOUND THE SAME?!?!?!? 

The roots of this movement are based in the fantastic and beautiful Blues and Jazz movement.  This is music.  This is complex and enrapturing.  Anyone with a soul can relate to and love the Blues.  Music that expressed something, improved the skill and use of an instrument, and united the races under a common flag; it has sadly been taken, raped, bastardized, and put out for the world to mock.

The adherents of this particular genre are individually loathsome.  Shambling around with their pants halfway to their ankles, ball-caps turned around (contrary to popular belief, ball caps are intended to block your eyes from the sun, not do God knows what on the back of your head), and obsession with shiny objects and shoes; they are massive waste of oxygen... second only to politicians.  Communication with these fools is impossible as they speak a disjointed pidgin english;  I’d rather take up a riveting theological debate with a yak.  Their laughable appearance combined with their inability to communicate like sane individuals makes them slightly outcast in civil society, where we pride ourselves in treating women like human beings.

*Country*

Another genre loosely based in the Blues, Bluegrass and Old-School country will be spared a verbal beating on the grounds that it is meaningful music.  Modern Pop Country, however, will be taken out, beaten soundly about the ears, and told to sit in the corner and think about what it has done to good music.

While hip-hop makes being a thug look appealing, Country justifies and emboldens ignorant wretches with no education!  It makes being stupid cool!  Hick culture is proud of its’ lack of understanding, its’ limited world view, and its’ inability to adapt and expand with the rest of the world.  Can somebody please explain this to me?  It’s like having an inbred elitist club... KKK anyone?

*Classical, Metal, Punk, and Electronica*

I’m happy to be able to finally relax.  While certain Pop elements of these genres contain the same infuriating elements discussed above, most of this music retains the very core of what music is supposed to be.  Emotional, rhythmically complex, lyrically engaging, a clear message; the music within these genres is a much needed break from the monotony of the mainstream.

THE WILLFULLY IGNORANT

Before I bring this chapter to a close, I want to sum up everything I’ve ranted myself blue in the face about.  In all actually, what I’m pissed about is the willfully ignorant.  I want to make it perfectly clear that I have nothing against the mentally handicapped.  They did not choose to be in that position, they are the innocent victims of either parental carelessness or genetic cruelty.  

The Willfully Ignorant are different.  These are people gifted with normal faculties,  brain function, and intelligence who choose to disengaged from reality.  And yes, I mean OBJECTIVE REALITY... you know, what’s actually happening.  That subjective reality bull-roar is a load of horse cock.  There is ONE world which we all live in.  It is not open to interpretation, it does not bend or alter depending on your perception.  Either you acknowledge the Truth, or you are an idiot.  That is all

Where was I?  Ah yes, the willfully ignorant.  The rest of this book will focus on the facts of this reality, and how most people’s beliefs do not match up with the way the world actually works.  Most people do not bother seeking after the truth: they either take what their told simply for granted or settle for the most appealing idea.  Reality is neither simple nor appealing, but it’s here, and we might as well explore it.  

If you are a member of the Willfully Ignorant, reading on will offend and insult you.  I do not like you and I will not bow or stoop the Truth to fit your comfortable world view.  If you are a Student of the World, willing to let your mind expand, read on and be engaged, entertained, and educated.

Declaration of Intent

Declaration of Intent

“Chances are I probably hate you...”

This book is meant to demonstrate the danger that a well-read, thinking, and pissed off working class poses.  I do not have a college degree.  I do not make billions of dollars.  I do not have my own radio show, television special, or line of hair products.  Chances are you have no idea who I am.  Chances are I probably hate you.

In reading this book, you are admitting that a college degree doesn’t mean everything.  A piece of paper on your wall doesn’t make you smart, insightful, or an expert on the world.  Life does.  A well rounded self-education and a realistic world view make you these things; not a certificate stating you can jump through hoops.

In the course of reading this book, you will probably become very angry.  I pull no punches, back off of no topic, and I do not stroke egos.  There is a lot to be pissed off about in this world: a great deal of morons making influential decisions, a massive amount of hypocrisy, and some downright lies made to look like truths.  If you believe in subjective reality, stop reading now.

Part rant, part philosophical essay, part theological lecture, I incorporate everything into this volume: physics, God, biology, magick, politics, and more.  This is written for two different groups.  Those who are trapped in a false mindset will be insulted and undermined.  Those who view life realistically will probably get a chuckle.

I will insult you.  I will offend your sensibilities.  I will make every PC bone in your body cringe.

I want to make you laugh.  I want to make you think.  I want to open new ideas and possibilities to you.  Most of all, I want you to get pissed off.  After all, there’s a lot to be pissed about.

So sit back, fill up a big ol’ glass of haterade, and prepared to be enraged.